4/15/09 ~blog#5~
The seven hour drive into Arizona was nothing short of horrible for my back. An old injury that had never been fixed decided to flare up from the tension on my muscles. The burning, nagging discomfort began directly under my right shoulder blade, and gradually made its way up into my neck. My thoughts could not depart from how badly I wished for us to be there.
The annoying pain was eased by a green and white sign revealing “Scottsdale 140mi”. We were more than half way there! I gained steam knowing how wonderful it was going to be to see Joshua again. Being behind the wheel, I pounded what Giggles calls a “Monster Light” to keep me attentive and awake(“Light” or “Heavy” refers to whether the Monster Energy Drink has sugar).
In just a few more miles we began to hear a very loud clicking and clanging sound coming from the engine. Being ignorant champions of automobiles, neither of us knew what it could be. We did know two things: (1)that it was not there before & (2)that thing(1)was a bad sign. We both agreed to pull off at the next gas station and look under the hood. For what? We had no clue. We were just following the steps that almost every other American would take: pop her open, check the oil, and then look around under the hood pretending to know what we were doing. That is what you are supposed to do, right?
About 15 miles later we found a station. Giggles checked the oil and I climbed into the back of the cockpit to pee using our highest frequency method, a plastic bottle. I lifted the 1-gallon pee jug off the ground, ignoring its heaviness as I turned the cap of the wide-mouth and began to pee. The fumes rising from below made me gag! I breathed through my mouth and hurried my business because I didn’t want to puke on myself. I then found frustration in the fact that one of my fingers was somehow wet. Oh well, hand sanitizer would fix that. What can I say? We are morons and like to punish ourselves! That first week of the trip, we learned the value of a newly drank water jug.
Returning to the cockpit, “Giggles, how is the oil?”
“It’s fine!”
“A good sign” I thought to myself as I watched him do the rest of the fake snooping. Then we were off.
The rest of the trip was long, and the engine’s incessant ring synchronized with the pulsing demon in my back, serving as a reminder that things were not right. Reaching Joshua’s gated community at the outskirts of Scottsdale was a milestone. With Hoe-Nay parked pretty tightly between his big house and the big house next to it, we walked to the door. I looked back at the beast and saw just how out of place she looked.
The front door was unlocked like always, but I knocked anyway. As the door opened so did my heart. I stepped forward and embraced my wonderful friend as I let the good that was within me enter him and circle back to me. Joshua and I have an energy in our hugs that is supernatural. Each one last from seconds to multiple minutes. I am sure some people get uncomfortable just watching two men exhibit so much love and appreciation.
This particular hug filled me up with all I was lacking, and returned my essence to me. It was powerful, gripping, and euphoric. I felt at home, and so grateful to be there. He is one of the most amazing people I will ever meet in my life. He is pure love.
Joshua immediately turned to a box that the Lovely Georgia (my favorite person in life/most compassionate and charming soul mate) had sent me which contained blinking octopus toys, love, and the only remedy I knew at the time regarding my back pain, muscle relaxers. After throwing one down the hatch, I looked down to see it had been sent over night. I became frustrated at her because I had requested it to be sent by two day mail, and was almost sure she had used my credit card.
Oh my god, who was I sounding like? In that instance I didn’t realize it, but I had somehow jumped into the role of my father, and Lovely Georgia was now me. You see, my father has gotten on me before for sending birthday cards and whatnot overnight to him because of the expense. The current situation was only a reflection of my past. Shortly after my initial frustration I would learn why it was perfect to happen this way, and in the end didn’t matter.
We made our way into the back yard excited to enter the hot tub that Joshua had been stoking for the past hour. With a Hoegarden in my hand, I slowly stepped in. Taking my first sip of the night, the frustration with my condition began to be relieved. The cool briskness met my insides as the soothing warmth of the water touched my extremities. The contrast was just what my body needed.
As conversation started, my muscles began to ease, hinting to me that the pill was hard at work. With a renewing body, it donned on me how fortunate I was. “Joshua, you know what? It’s funny how things work out. If she hadn’t of sent the package over night, then I would not have gotten it as we walked into your home, which was the time I needed it the most. And that means that I would not entirely be feeling better this very moment. I owe her all the credit in the world for doing something that at first sight upset me. ” He smiled.
Everything in this life happens for a reason, and the more we let our emotions take us over, the further we get from realizing all the connections. I went from anger and frustration over a silly thing like money, all the way to a great state of being and gratitude for what and who I had. It all happened because I took a step back, looking at the situation in the right light without emotion to see how perfect it was. Now just imagine if I had the discipline to do this with everything in my life. Further, imagine what if everyone did this with everything in their lives. So pop, how good was it to receive those cards on time?
Leaning back I enjoyed the hot bubbles crashing against my ear. My eyes closed in comfort as I folded myself into the environment. Although it was a struggle and a half to get there, and I had pushed myself to the threshold of self induced pain, it all dissipated because “we had arrived”. That night I really knew what The Tempatations meant when they sang, “papa was a rollin stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home”.
The next morning was different. We woke in disarray, sick and tired. Despite Joshua checking in with us from time to time, the aura of the home had a hold on us. The depletion of our energy would haunt our bodies the entirety of the stay. We were in the dirt for three days... (Moral: We affect one another. In any given atmosphere we follow suit to that which is around us because it is natural for us to influence and be influenced. The more people, the more powerful. So with a positive environment, our spirits can be elevated. The danger is that the same holds true with negative environments. The sad truth was that at the W.I.S.H for L.O.V.E home, the empire was striking back)
No comments:
Post a Comment